


The Fan

by Chasyn



Series: The Butterflies [8]
Category: Jurassic Park Original Trilogy (Movies), Jurassic World Trilogy (Movies)
Genre: Butterflies, Butterflies in your stomach, Drabble, Even though it's the longest, Lots of fog, Multi, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Short, Some negative trans thoughts, Soulmate Symptoms, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Transgender Lowery, You get butterflies in your stomach when you meet your soulmate, and confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 06:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17544182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chasyn/pseuds/Chasyn
Summary: Lowery didn't get butterflies.  He just got foggy.





	The Fan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NamelessIceGoddess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelessIceGoddess/gifts).



> Nothing said in this should in no way or form be taken as fact. These are some of my own thoughts and fears expressed by Lowery. Not all transgender people have the same thoughts, feelings, fears, etc. Every person is different and different things shape their lives and feelings and shit. This is also not meant to offend or to mock transgender people in any way either. Simply one transguy's own feelings.
> 
> Also, these next 3 are the longest yet. XD Cuz I felt like the characters needed a bit more backstory, since they aren't very popular.

The control room door opened and revealed Simon Masrani. He stood for a moment, looking around the bustling place. A smile spread across his face as he stepped into the room.

Lowery looked away quickly. It was a normal day, just like any other at the park. Attendance was high and his eyes were on his monitor, keeping track of all the various park stats. He'd been concentrating hard on his job when the control room door opened. It wasn't an unusual sound or anything. With so many workers, the door was constantly opening and closing. It was actually a comforting sound. But Lowery had looked anyways. He'd stopped what he was doing and swiveled in his chair. And seen Simon. And Simon had smiled at him. Well... probably not a him. Simon hadn't smiled at him. Lowery was certain. So he turned in his seat quickly and went back to work, trying to think through the fog that was suddenly in his head.

He'd always felt drawn to the man. Even before they'd official met. He'd always been a fan with a mild crush. But he was never sure why. Simon wasn't his soulmate or anything. He couldn't be. Lowery had never felt the Butterflies for the man. They'd met a few years ago when Lowery first started working at the park. No Butterflies. But there was something. There was something about Simon, that Lowery couldn't place. Simon made him feel... something. Foggy, had been what he'd come to call it. It wasn't the full senses shut down that came with Butterflies, where you couldn't really hear or think or anything, where everything was just the Butterflies and the other person involved. No, what Simon did to Lowery was more of like a fog settling over him. Like there was a foggy haze over his senses.

Lowery had been thinking about it a lot since the first fog. He was certain he knew why he hadn't gotten the Butterflies. And why he was certain he never would. He wasn't really a man. He'd been born a girl and started transitioning before college and that was why. Because he wasn't normal. Because he wasn't a man. And he wasn't a girl. He was nothing and he deserved nothing and that's why fate just made him foggy around Simon instead of giving him Butterflies. And that's assuming Simon was even his destined mate. Simon had never acted any different around Lowery. He'd never given the other man any indication that he'd felt the Butterflies or was attracted to him in anyway.

Which he wasn't, Lowery was sure. Because how would anyone love a not-man like him. Although he never regretted transitioning. Even if it messed with fate or whatever, he was happy as a man. Well... happ _ier_. He'd been miserable as a girl. So maybe he was destined to be alone for the rest of his life. But at least he was moderately happy. Just as long as no one found out and he kept to himself and kept his distance from Simon.

Lowery didn't even know if Simon was gay or straight or whatever. He'd never heard Simon talk about dating anyone before. Or being interested in anyone. Lowery had never heard Simon mention anyone before in any romantic capacity. People dated without the Butterflies. And some people went their whole lives without ever feeling them. Some people ended up not liking their soulmates or breaking up. A soulmate wasn't the end all. Some people didn't realize their sexuality until they felt the Butterflies.

Lowery was so lost in his thoughts, focusing on _not_ thinking about Simon or the maybe life he was supposed to have if he'd remained a miserable girl, that he didn't hear the man he wasn't thinking about walk up behind him. A shadow fell over Lowery's console and he sucked in a breath. His monitor flashed images of the ferry arriving and docking. But he couldn't focus on it. The fog was suddenly thicker, more so than it'd ever been. Lowery blinked and leaned to the side a bit, away from Simon. But it didn't help.

And then Simon touched him.

Just a light touch to Lowery's shoulder.

There was something different.

Something changed.

Lowery jumped up, pushing his chair back. Simon stepped forward, moving with him. He reached out and grabbed his hand. Lowery stopped. He swore for a second, he forgot how to breathe. What the hell? He felt it. It was faint, really faint, but he felt it. Lowery could feel the brush of the Butterfly wings in his stomach. But how... why now? Simon had touched him before. In passing. A few dozen handshakes. An awkward high five once. Friendly punches to the arm. A couple quick hugs and pats on the back. This one was no different than the other handful of times.

Lowery swallowed and looked up at Simon, who was mirroring his confusion. Lowery bit his lip as he met Simon's gaze. Then Simon looked away, at the monitors. He was still holding tightly to Lowery's hand as his eyes seemed to scan the images of the embarking passengers of the recent ferry. Lowery wanted to ask why. He wanted to ask what was going on. But his mouth wasn't working. His ears weren't either. His brain was more foggy than ever and he felt almost lightheaded. He hardly saw the crowded control room and the people waving at or talking to them.

Simon didn't seem to notice either. His grip on Lowery's hand tightened and he stepped back, pulling him along. Lowery let Simon pull him. And he followed along behind Simon like a lost puppy. The hand holding his anchored him, grounded him. And for some reason, he didn't fear this man finding out his deepest secret. Actually, Lowery suddenly couldn't wait to tell him. It was like a sudden weight was lifted off his chest, one he hadn't even realized was there. Just as soon as the fog or whatever lifted and he could talk and hear again. Because it was really...

Lowery stopped thinking as he realized they were nearing the central plaza. He frowned for a moment as Simon stopped. Had they really walked all the way through the control building? And then outside and through the shops? How had Lowery not noticed? And why was Simon just...

Then Lowery noticed. The Butterflies were beating faster, crazier. It was making him feel a bit queasy. And light headed again. And he just wanted to sit down. Lowery stumbled for a moment on his feet. Simon didn't turn, but he held tight to Lowery's hand and helped to keep him steady. Then Simon pulled him forward.

Lowery stepped up beside him.

And that's when he saw her.

Standing in front of the fountain.

Her blonde hair bathed in the sunlight making her almost glow.

 _Pretty_.

**Author's Note:**

> 8D Simon's is done and Lex's is 1/3 done and my deadline for finishing all 3 is the 28th. And so far, I have not missed a deadline that Cosey has given me. So maybe posting them 1 a day will help get me there! 8D


End file.
